Thursday, October 29, 2009

Quote Integration

I'm not having too much trouble inegrating quotes in general, but I am ahving difficulty with one particular sequence: "In a recent article ran by The Mayo Clinic, the balancing act of life and work is analyzed. The article asserts that one way to deal with a stressful job (killing vampires, anyone?) is to “develop friendships both inside and outside the office”. Buffy does a superb job doing this, as she becomes best friends with Willow, an odd girl herself, whom has little trouble understanding the literally unbelievable responsibilities Buffy has. The article elaborates that positive friends are a key factor in one’s own happiness, and Willow is endlessly positive. " In the second refrence to the source, I feel like my idea isn't supported enough and that the source isn't used effectively. Any tips?

1 comment:

  1. It seems like you're trying to make too big of a deal about Willow in terms of the quote and then not a big enough deal about her in terms of the paraphrase.

    It's important to demonstrate that Willow and Buffy become friends. Then, after the paraphrase, it's important to demonstrate Willow's optimism. You're not doing the second part right now (unless you go on to do it in your paper). And the first part is kind of scattered. Why is it important that Willow is odd? Is Willow an outside or inside the office friend? If she's both, how does that effect what the Mayo Clinic recommends?

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